Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
