I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
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