are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
