You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
