Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
So much Jack, so little girl.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
