Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
