Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
