some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
