This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
