My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
