Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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