I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
