and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
