i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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