we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
