OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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