I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
