you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize