this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
