Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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