I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
