she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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