Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize