six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
