my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
