Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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