If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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