i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
