we're chasing vodka with high fives
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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