have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Randomize
