Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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