I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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