not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize