I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
