NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize