A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
