Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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