i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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