Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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