If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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