She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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