belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Rumble strips road head = magical
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
