just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
