i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
