I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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