Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
