I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
