Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
