yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
