Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
