There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
