omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
