i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
