what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
