Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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