yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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