You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I am midnight drunk by noon
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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