dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
