i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
