no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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