well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
