he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
