we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
